ty/ler (lefauxmiroir) wrote,

changes are no good?

Well, well... as drawn out as this may have appeared in livejournal world, considering the length of time I've known about it, I am finally moving out of my childhood home today. It is, most definitely, bittersweet.

I was waiting for when it would actually hit me. When I left my store for the last time, when I saw friends for the last time, I was waiting for some awful rush of emotion, but it never really came. I feel like its happening a little right now. I woke up this morning and it was very last-episode-of-Six-Feet-Under, when Claire wakes up and she has to move. I'm going to miss work, friends, etc, but for me, having such a great family that I love and have lived with my whole life, that's the really difficult part to walk away from. I know I'm not dying or anything insane, I'll still see them, but the dynamic most definitely will change... it's going to be different and difficult for the first time in my life. I'm lucky to have my family. My dad (and possibly mom) are coming out in a couple of weeks to help me set up a Sharp Aquos LCD tv (I'm really fucking spoilt, I know it). I think my older brother is coming out in the next month or two. So I'll see them, and soon, but its going to be so bizarre to have them removed from my day to day life.

The other weird part, is that this feels quite finite here. San Diego... I dunno, its fucked to leave it as much as I am really tired of it. I know it so well... the settled feeling I get when I see it whenever I'm returning to it by plane as I land... its home, and it will always be home. But, and this is all open-ended, I don't feel like I'll ever live here again in my life. I have school soon, and a year lease, but if I can, I'm staying there, because I love it, and there's a lot more oppurtunity for independent film out there. Plus, my dad is retiring soon, and my parents are talking about buying a home in Hawaii. And who knows, my little brother is getting his fucking pilot's license and since Nokia is closing here, Chad is going to open some business, who knows where. I dunno how much San Diego will mean to me in the next year or two, which is quite unfathomable to me at this point.

Outside of major life changes, I made Amy Sedaris cupcakes last night and they're amazing amazing amazing. Man, they're fucking good. Also, I spent the better portion of this morning frantically trying to get sold out tickets to the Emily Haines solo show at Joe's Pub next month to no avail yet. I hope that works out.

Anyway, next time I post in here, I'll be living in New York. Crazy.
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